living life

live life to the fullest..
It's something I experienced, something I hold on to, something I wish everyone did.

But this week, now I'm free from school, and have these ideas and plans I want and need to do, something is missing. I catch myself staring at the wall while I am suppose to study for a test. I disappoint myself when I spend too much time on things I should not do..
Today, when I was trying to warm myslef up under the shower, I was talking to my self, trying to discover why I did not feel amazing, why I did not enjoy the day. I made a weird conclusion I soon forgot, and I concentrated on shaving my legs. I made a whole theory about how shaving legs could change your thinking, and improve your attitude ( It was quite interesting, maybe I'll tell you once) And then.. out of the blue I realized :
I am not living life to the fullest! Where was I trying to make the best out of every day? In what kind of way was I positive about what I did, nomatter what that was?
I am not enjoying the day, because I am not trying to make it a good one. I am not concentrating on the things I can, and like, but only on the things I have to, the things I don't and the things I waiste my time on! It's not a sursprise then I don't feel comfort! I am only taking myslef down by my own thoughts! How stupid is that..
Now I have this conclusion, what should I do?
Of Course, Pray, and then LIVE.
And not trying to live as though I like it, Just Live, and then Like it.
it's just a matter of..
realization and acceptation..
Something like that.

I wish you all the best with your day.
Lydia